Death and His Mistress
by The Decemberist
Summary: Tatsuki, Renji, and living life in the shadow of others. future tatxren, implied ichiruki
I have no idea where this came from. It's past 1 am and I should be sleeping but instead I'm writing.
*Written in the same universe as my other story _Third Time's a Charm_ *

* * *

Death and His Mistress

It's many years before they finally meet. She had seen him around a few times, clothed in black with a shock of hair so red it made Ichigo's orange in comparison and enough tattoos to make the thugs in her town look like innocent school boys. She had never really been that interested in him and his _kind_ , those people who turned all her friends' worlds upside down with their crazy stupid dangerous lifestyles she felt mortal people like her (just her, only her, because apparently everyone else has special latent powers they've just been waiting to save the world with) had no business getting involved with.

She only meets him when she goes to the Kurosaki residence to see where the hell they had all disappeared off too; she hadn't seen Isshin or the girls in a few days and never mind Orihime and Chad and Ishida, who had been missing for weeks. And Ichigo...well at this point she was used to her childhood friend being more of a friend in memory and spirit (no pun intended).

He's the one who answers the door when she knocks, somehow dressed in their old school uniform and looking incredibly awkward when she demands to know where the Kurosaki family is and who the hell is he and what is he doing in their house. Her demand loses some of its bite by the end though, because _god_ hasn't she done this countless times before, demanding to know things only to be brushed off and told she wouldn't understand anyway? By this point she should be used to being the last to know anything going on with her friends, always on the outside just trying to find a way inside this bizarre inner circle that isn't even _human_ for crying out loud.

But his answer surprises her. He states the obvious at first ("You're Ichigo's friend, right?") and tells her that he's just back grabbing some stuff Rukia left a while ago and there was another big war that required Ichigo and company, but now everyone should be coming home-

"Well, except Ichigo. He probably won't be back here for a long time, not during your lifetime anyway."

She bristles at the way he says _your lifetime_ , like it's something so easily quantifiable by him because he is a _shinigami_ and _so over_ lifetimes, but says nothing about it. She thanks him curtly for his honest answer, and bids him goodbye with the excuse of needing to go to the dojo and train. She feels his eyes on her the entire time she's walking down the road, only pausing to look back when she faintly hears the door close.

0-0

They have their first real conversation a few years later, when she had all but forgotten about their brief interaction on the Kurosaki doorstep. She spent a year traveling around for competitions but found herself drawn back to her childhood home by the time she is twenty two. She is head of the dojo now, an early retired national champion who is happy to spend her days instructing others.

The days of her friends battling monsters and mayhem seem far off now. Orihime has opened her own bakeshop that does surprisingly well considering her friend's odd taste buds; that quiet boy Ishida Uryuu designed the entire shop for free. When she asks Orihime about it she blushes and insists he is just a good friend. She even sometimes sees Chad around, but truthfully doesn't know what he, or even any of her other girlfriends from high school are up to. After graduation she found herself distanced from everyone; changed by the run-ins with the shinigami but not bound together by shared experience like the others she felt something like the odd girl out .

So she was incredulous when she sees him knocking on the dojo door when she was closed and cleaning up the night, only distinguished by his crimson hair. She opens the door cautiously, unware of what someone like him could possibly want at this time at night. She's even more incredulous when he explains he's been stationed in Karakura for the night and wanted somewhere to spar because being in the world of the living alone was so _boring_. She wants to retort _then why don't you just go leave_ but chooses to ask him why he didn't just have someone else go?

"This place is magnet for trouble so they need send at least a lieutenant to keep the peace around here. It used to be Rukia's job but she's too busy now." His eyes darken unexpectedly at the mention of Rukia's name ( _I thought they were friends?_ ) but she doesn't ask about this either. Instead she changes the subject completely and asks him how he even knew about this place, to which he turns pink and responds, "I asked Ichigo if there was anywhere around here to train and he told me to come here."

The mention of Ichigo makes her eyes widen for a moment before she regains her composure. No one had talked about him for a while. Orihime used to when he first left, but after a while she finally got the hint Tatsuki wasn't interested in hearing about her once dear friend who had left without even a goodbye, much less an explanation.

But she knows a challenge when she sees one and it's been awhile since anyone had been able to even make her break a sweat and she is a competitor at heart so she tells him to lock the door behind him and wait for her to get changed.

Twenty minutes later and she's panting on the ground, wondering how the hell someone so big was so damn _fast_ and so effortlessly too because he only has a light sheen on his face while she's dripping head to toe. She demands to know just powerful he is inside that fake body and he looks a little sheepish while explaining that it would be near impossible for a human to beat a shinigami even in a gigai. But instead of being discouraged she is determined to at least make him break a decent sweat; she re-wraps her hands and demands they go another round.

She fails on both accounts, not even landing a few decent hits before she finds herself staring at the ceiling. But it's the best fight she's had in awhile and she hands him an extra water, which he happily accepts and they end up sitting against the wall talking for over an hour. It becomes painfully clear why he and Ichigo would butt heads so much because they are basically the same damn person, except he ( _"Call me Renji, I think we're past the formalities at this point don't you?")_ is without all the Ichigo angst and gloom. For example, when she asks him what's the deal with all the tattoos instead of getting pissy and offended he just laughs and says he thought they would look cool. She snorts but doesn't pursue the subject any further, finally asking him what she had wanted to since he had walked in the door:

"So how's Ichigo been over there? It's been four or five years now hasn't it?"

He launches into what sounds like a rehearsed speech; that Ichigo is now a captain and still lives in the Kuchiki manor and they're waiting on the wedding announcement from him and Rukia any time now-

"What!?" She thinks she must've heard him wrong. "What do you mean wedding announcement, like as in _marriage_?!" It's not even that she really cares that he might get married, she's certainly not trying to snag him herself but it's unsettling to realize just how far she and her once best friend have drifted apart, and just how clueless she is about his life and how she really just doesn't _know_ him anymore.

"Yeah...it's funny because I never would've expected this from Rukia either. I've known her my entire life and I never would've pegged her as the type who would want to get married. But they're Seireitei's hottest couple now, everyone talks about what their kids will look like." He makes a face at the word _kids_ and shakes his head, "Don't get me wrong, I'm happy for both of them. It's just...I feel like I never see her anymore." They're getting into dangerously personal territory now.

"I mean I finally get back into her life and for a while it's like things hadn't changed but I think I was fooling myself...I don't think I ever knew her as well as I thought I did."

His words are so painfully accurate she inhales sharply and turns away. She wasn't expecting him to say something dead on about her own relationship to Ichigo and wonders if she's found a kindred spirit in this strange pineapple haired man whom she barely even knows. However, the silence stretches on for a few heartbeats too long because he awkwardly gets up and excuses himself for the night, claiming his host is going to be pissed he's been out so late when he promised to be in and help out with the shop chores. He thanks her for sparring with him, and she surprises herself by inviting him back the next time he's in town.

(It's only because he was a decent opponent, not because she _likes_ him or anything.)

0-0

Two months later and she finds herself infuriatingly well acquainted with her dojo's floor. He usually comes by once every other week or so (not that she's counting) even though she never sees any of those monsters anymore and every time she's ready to go another few rounds with him even though they always end the same way. With her, on her ass or on her face, panting and sweating and pissed as hell that he keeps managing to effortlessly beat her.

"How the hell do you _do that_ ," She hisses, trying to mobilize her very angry shoulder. "One minute you're in front of me and the next.." She mentions to herself on the floor and he laughs.

"I tell you this every time. I'm just a stronger _being_ than you, it has nothing to do with skill. If you were a shinigami too you'd kick my ass in a heartbeat."

"Well seeing as that's not possible for me why don't you just turn off the whole _shinigami thing_ ," She spits, "and fight me like a human. You're in a regular body right now."

"Well it's not something I can just turn on and off! It's what I am!"

At this point they are comfortable enough with each other to spar both physically and verbally. After their first few sessions it became obvious the two of them had a lot more in common than being left behind by their closest friends. Tatsuki would never admit it even to herself, but she looked forward to his visits not only because she was able to fight someone all out.

"Let's go do something else today. I'm tired of being inside for so long." He says in what sounds like a forced offhanded manner, and she suspiciously asks him what he means.

"Well I dunno!" His face is turning the same color as his hair. "Go grab something to eat, go walk downtime, there's plenty to do around here."

"Are you asking me out?"

"...Depends, would you say yes if I was?"

She certainly hadn't expected her day to end up here when she woke up this morning. Tatsuki Arisawa, ordinary human girl going on a date with a redheaded ghost. ( _Wait I don't know if I am I didn't even say yes yet what am I doing this is crazy-)_

"Come on," She gets up and motions for him to do the same. "There's a restaurant that has a great lunch deal that's going to end soon. Let's go before I start thinking about how insane this is." Her doubts are somewhat erased by the grin he doesn't bother hiding and she finds her own face slowly twisting into something that might be the first genuine smile she's had in a long time.

Their fights stop all together when he comes to visit and are replaced with lunches or dinners or walks through the city. She takes him to see an action movie one time and he can't understand the concept of special effects so the movie turns into a comedy and he vows he will never watch something so ridiculous again as she disturbs the entire theatre with her laughter. Sometimes he just comes and watches her coach all day and then he'll come back to her apartment and a few time she's let him try and cook but she always ends up taking over before her kitchen burns down. She initiates their first kiss and is pleasantly surprised he's just as a good a kisser as he is fighter.

One day at lunch Orihime mentions she feels like she's barely seen her lately. She smiles apologetically and lies that she's been busy at the dojo.

She isn't sure where they are headed but thinks her reservations about the shinigami may have been misplaced because this one isn't so bad. He's a little ridiculous and brash but he is kind and honest and doesn't treat her like a child who isn't old enough to know the truth and lie to her about his world. They are a bit unconventional and bicker far more than not but he cares about her and she's never been this happy with another person and it's good enough for her. Six months rolls by in a heartbeat; the summer slowly giving way to fall and cooler weather.

One day when he visits he tells her when he leaves this time it's going to be for good.

She hears her heart pounding in her ears because that's a shitty way to greet someone and what the hell is he breaking up with her are they even together could she even call this a breakup damnit why does it _hurt_ so much?

"...and there's never any hollows here." She didn't even hear most of what he was saying because she didn't need to. It's not like it would change anything. "To be honest I was making up lies to come here as often as I was and my captain has finally had enough."

"But I never got a chance to...beat you." It sounded lame in her head and even lamer once she said it but she wasn't entirely sure what she wants _to_ say ( _I never got to tell you how awesome it was having you around I never got the chance to really fall in love with you-)_

But she doesn't say any of this. Instead she just smiles weakly and hopes he can somehow read everything she's thinking in that tiny facial expression.

"Don't worry," He says, his face mirroring her own. "Someday soon we'll have a rematch. I'm holding you to it." He grabs her and kisses her hard and fast and she grips him tightly before he disentangles himself and walks out the dojo door, leaving her once again the one on the wrong side of humanity.

She thinks she finally understands what everyone else did a long time ago; you can't fight death. It was never the shinigami she was so vehemently weary of; it was death itself, and how unsettled she was that all her friends were so easily welcoming of it into their lives. No, she thinks she finally understands Ichigo better than she ever has even though they haven't spoken in years.

It is impossible to fight death.

Especially if you're in love with it.

0-0

The air is eerily quiet in Karakura now. She no longer feels that unmistakable change in the air she used to feel when _he_ would be near. She meets Orihime for coffee a few days later and her dear friend asks how the dojo is going and has the work let up to give her some more free time?

"Yeah," she answered softly, not able to meet her friends trusting eyes. "It's basically like it's not even there anymore...You know because it's so slow now." She hastily covers her almost slip up and her friend nods her head in agreement, not even questioning the odd choice of words.

( _Orihime never asks her why Abarai Renji's presence has stopped popping up on her radar so frequently.)_

She decides to enter a tournament even though it's been years since she's competed. What the hell, she reasons, it's not like I have to be healthy to fight _him_ anymore. She breaks her hand in the second round after breaking her fall awkwardly, dodging a punch she should've easily been able to block and counter.

When a fellow coach asks her what happened she answers simply but honestly that her heart just wasn't in it anymore. ( _There's only person she's interested in fighting now, too bad he's an entire lifetime away._ ) She leaves to go ice her hand and curses ever asking him to come back to the dojo. Damn him for slowly but permanently finding his way into her heart. She vows to _get her shit together_ because dammit it she's being ridiculous and her hand hurts like hell and she will not spend any more time obsessing over what could have been.

Her hand slowly heals and she does too. She relearns her life without him, however painful it is, it can be done and pretty soon she's not exactly back to her old self but it's close enough and she can live with that.

It happens suddenly a year later. She is twenty three and wants to go back to school, maybe get a degree in kinesiology and establish herself more as coach, maybe become a serious trainer? It hasn't been an easy year but Tatsuki Arisawa has never been the girl to mope over a guy and she sure as hell wasn't going to start especially because he was _dead_ anyway. Certain things tug at old wounds but for the most part she's good; she has a good family and her and Orihime have really reconnected and she's having a blast helping her plan out her wedding and-

the car hits hers with such a force the wind is knocked out of her. She feels like she's watching it happen outside her body as her head whips back and then forward into the steering wheel, her left side crushed as another car slams into hers as it spins through the intersection. She's screaming for someone to help her why isn't anyone helping her can't they see she's _dying_ here?!-

But then she realizes something isn't right. Why is she watching this happen to her body. Why is she looking at it from the outside; why is there so much blood coming from her head and it looks like she can't breathe oh my god no no no no-

At 3:42 p.m, twenty three year old Tatsuki Arisawa is pronounced dead on the scene. She watches helplessly as her body is placed in a big ugly black bag, her mother crying senselessly by some officer who was trying to calm her down. There is chaos everywhere and she can't stand to watch her own death unfold in front her eyes but can't look away. The sirens are blaring and more people are coming to gawk as the man who caused the crash is lead away in cuffs and another victim is treated for head trauma, she can hear him babbling about how it should have been _him_ not her who was hit and it's not fair that she's so young god did they say she was only twenty three she's basically a kid and this is when she has to walk away; she can't stand this anymore.

But suddenly before she can move away she feels a presence she thought she wouldn't feel again for a long time. She turns around, and is shocked when she sees him looming before her, hair brighter than she remembered with an almost apologetic, uncomfortable smile.

"It's been a long time Tatsuki."

"Ichigo...what're you doing here?"

"I'm here to help you cross over."

"What is..?"

He closes his eyes for a moment before lifting up one _big ass sword_ and pushes the hilt against her forehead before everything goes dark.

0-0

The day after, she's being briefed by Ichigo and Rukia (who apparently _is_ now his fiance) on the basic workings on the strange place she now calls home, Ichigo saying something about getting her enrolled in some academy? But she doesn't want to hear any of it, it's too soon it's too scary and it's too much all at once.

She had been brought to an estate with a house the size their high school and shown a room that she was welcome to stay in, all calmly done by Ichigo who told her it was the least he could do after disappearing on her without explaining why he couldn't go back to the world of living. It's weird to see him so at ease in this place with this tiny dark haired girl, talking about _zanpakutos_ and _soul burials_ like they are casual topics of everyday conversations. She retires to the room she is staying in, citing exhaustion and Ichigo smiles knowingly and promises to catch up with her more later. She's barely been alone for five minutes before another knock on the door interrupts her thoughts

"What do you want Ichigo I said I wanted some space," She growls, throwing the door open.

But it is not Ichigo standing on the other side. She audibly gasps at the man before her, his freakishly bright red hair and zigzagging tattoos and towering height so familiar it's like they had spent no time apart at all. She finds herself breaking into a small smile, looking up to meet his eyes and seeing the growing excitement mirrored in them.

"So...how about that rematch?"

 _fin_


End file.
